Mistake

I just realised that I have made a stupid mistake
A mistake that has changed everything about us
How I wished I could turn back the time to make amends
Day and night, I keep thinking about you
I wonder what went wrong and now I know
It was my entire fault, how I hate myself now
I feel so helpless, like a rose left to dry
I had carelessly made bad decisions
If only I could show you how much I care
One chance that I had, and I threw it away
I allowed jealousy to take control
I became a victim of my own action
I used to wonder how it’s going to be without you
I need not wonder anymore because now I know
You are not with me any longer
I have lost the person that makes my soul lively
Would it be different if I had not made the mistake I have made
I have tried but I failed, it’s almost impossible
To forget someone whose soul is present in me
The bond that we have created virtually is stronger that I ever thought
I will live with regret now for I have made a mistake at your expense
You have always been the one that I have ever love so dearly…

Dearest Diana

Dearest Diana,
I never knew if it was love or just a curiosity,
You never fail to linger in my mind
I have not touched nor have heard you,
But the emotions of longing for you exists
A lover without a face,
You took my breath away suffocating me without mercy
Our weaknesses and faults have broken the promises we have made
We thought we were strong, but we were wrong
I could never forgive myself,
For it is an act of disgrace
I am no match for this fight I am fighting for
If there is anyone to be blamed,
For all the sadness in the air
It will be me, I will hold myself to blame,
I have sinned you
I have forgotten what I was fighting for
Condemned me and I will comprehend,
For all the tears you have shed
You have an enigmatic nature,
But I always know u will remain mysterious
Unless I am patient
But it has gone with the wind
Like the leaves falling from the trees,
Blown away by the wind without a destination
I have been in love with the wind,
I can feel it but I can never have it
It seems so close but yet so far,
so strong but yet so soft
In my quest to search for myself,
I have come to the road less travelled
In my isolation I have reached to a conclusion
I’ll only know when our eyes meet,
And I will feel the beat of my heart
If I die before I am awake,
Please believe I loved and love you still
All I ask for is your heartfelt forbearance
for the mistakes I have made
Your clemency is something I shall not seek
for I am too humiliated of myself
If I have upset you in any way,
I shall not defend myself for I am only human
I will submit my humble self to your demand
and your wish will be my command
I will not search for more but only your soul,
your touch and your divine devotion
And in exchange for that,
I shall give you mine
If you were mine…

Dear Nina

dear nina,

it has been 5 years since you were gone,
i was left all alone to pick up the pieces,
i had my palm cut by the broken glasses many times,
it bled and i let it bleed,
i didn't nurse the bleeding palm,
i didn't see any reason for it since you were gone,
there's no one that care anymore,
why did you leave without goodbye,
does it make you smile to see me like this?
what have i done wrong?
did i let you down?
everywhere i go i think of you,
every girl that walks pass me seems to look like you,
so many things happened while you were gone,
it hurts very much Nina,
it really does,
we were the best of friends,
where are the promises that you have made?
i saw you last night, but you didn't even look at me,
it was a dream i have always had since you were gone,
i felt a knife piercing through my heart when you went away,
so many fingers pointed at me,
the sight of your blood haunts me,
it's becoming a nightmare,
my heart broke into pieces to see you there,
lying motionless, you didn't smile at me,
you looked so pale with less blood in your body,
your soul was gone and you looked empty,
i wonder if you would be okay in the next world,
i still think of you,
the smile on your face,
the laughter that sounds so funny,
i looked for you,
they told me you were gone,
you were never coming back,
i cried so many tears for you to come back,
i wanted to wake you up from your sleep,
they stopped me,
i feel so weak, so helpless,
where have all my strengths gone to?
i just wanted to tell you for the last time,
i miss you so much and it hurts so bad,
forgive me Nina, forgive me pleas

Anak

anak,
dimana engkau?
sudah tiada lagikah kasih sayang?
aku rindu untuk membelai,
rambut hitam lebat menjadi kebanggaan,
kerana aku ibu,
aku melahirkanmu,
menyusukanmu,
kerana engkau anak,
aku selalu mengenang,
engkau manja dan penuh ceria,
menjadi kegemaran kepada semua,
engkau bijak dan petah bercakap,
senyuman manis mengukir di bibir,
dimana kau sekarang anakku?
mengapa sepi tanpa berita?
aku sangat merindui,
tiada malam tiada siang,
aku mahu kau pulang,
kembalilah di sisi,
jangan biarkan aku terseksa,
hati hancur mendapat berita,
engkau pergi tanpa restu,
sanggup engkau anakku,
jiwa gelisah mengenangkan,
dimana silapnya?
kasih dan sayang kuberikan,
seperti air mengalir tiada hentinya,
bertungkus lumus membesarkanmu,
meminjam meminta jika tiada,
agar kau dapat sesuap nasi,
supaya tangisan kelaparan berhenti,
dikeji dihina, kerana selalu meminta,
aku terima, aku lakukan jua,
demi kau anakku, aku rela,
aku berdoa setiap hari,
agar ketemukan aku bersama kau,
semoga kita dapat kembalikan,
keriangan zaman silam,
berilah aku peluang itu,
sebelum aku pergi menghadapnya,
izinkan aku membelaimu,
kerana aku merinduimu,
dan kerana aku ibumu...

Bayangan Semalam

dalam kedinginan, aku kesepian,
senyuman di bibir menjadi santapan,
dalam siulan aku tenang merindui,
tinggal kenangan untuk diabadikan,
kita bertemu dan berpisah jua,
kembali aku ke zaman lalu,
mengenang ngenang peristiwa silam
dalam diam aku menangis,
terimbas kembali bayangan semalam,
berjalan perlahan di atas titi,
meniti hari yang tiada pasti,
hidup sepi mengenang diri,
siapalah aku insan kerdil,
hati dan perasaan dimain-mainkan,
mengapa sanggup dilakukan,
kita semua makhluk Tuhan,
engkau dan aku tiada bezanya,
terlerai sudah segala rahsia,
diri dikata pengemis cinta,
berkecai semua impian hati,
aku terima dengan reda,
menuju aku ke masa hadapan,
membawa sejarah dengan harapan.

Hari Itu Dalam Sejarah

hari itu dalam sejarah,
kelembutan suaramu,
satu azimat,
tidak dapat kunafikan,
hati ini sudah disentuh,
dalam diam aku merasa,
diam bukan bererti tidak mengerti,
aku manusia yang hina,
terumbang ambing,
di persada perjuangan,
seorang diri aku melangkah,
tidak pernah kenal erti bahagia,
suka duka aku seorang diri,
tidak pernah mencari erti kasih sayang,
terpinggir mencari erti kehidupan,
jatuh bangun aku sendiri,
aku pasrah lumrah kehidupan,
dimanakah ilhamku gelora jiwaku,
tiap wajah aku lalui di jalanan,
aku tidak berjumpa,
tiap doa aku panjatkan aku berserah,
batin ku sepi pilu mencari ketenangan,
dalam kedamaian aku semadi,
engkau hadir mengukir senyuman di bibir,
membawa seribu harapan,
di arena perjuangan,
jangan kami kecundang,
ditertawakan orang,
di medan percintaan dalam perjuangan,
hatiku sebak terasa,
senyuman dalam tangisan,
suka dalam duka,
suci dalam debu,
namun manusia tetap manusia,
hari itu dalam sejarah,
keikhlasan niat aku lafazkan,
dari ketulusan hati kasih sayang tersirat,
Sinar Fajar kian menjelma,
bersama kau di lubuk hati,
mungkinkah kau jua dalam kerinduan,
tidak akan ku padam lilin cinta kami,
terima kasih ku ucapkan,
atas kenangan manis itu,
akan ku abadikan sebagai memori,
semoga Tuhan merestuinya...

Daughter of Darkness

daughter, she can remember you,
warm kisses, tender she was,
once you were in her arms,
being fed with milk.
Why did you deceived her,
what devil made you go,
when she needed you most of all,
you slit the throat of her confidence.
you took hear heart, broke it away
leave her alone forever, stay away,
demon in your head starts to overwhelm,
and there it goes your last chance for peace
gone is the love you shared together,
your own kind of heaven,
sharing together the magic of love,
in a world of your own

Papa

Everyday my papa would work,
to help to make ends meet,
to see that we would eat,
keep those shoes upon my feet.
every night my papa would take
and tucked me in my bed,
kiss me on my head,
after all the prayers were said.
still I haven't been a grateful child,
for all the things he has done,
I pinch myself to wake me up,
do it now before it's too late.

Happy Birthday

happy birthday to you,

this is your day,
they prepared you a boo,
it's beautiful in every way.
they adore and they love you,
cos you are so wonderful,
let's celebrate it at the zoo,
make them your birthday fools.
you asked for a chocolate cake,
daddy said okay,
mum had it specially bake,
you threw it away.
age is nothing but a number,
why don't you want to grow old,
big number for age gives me a fever,
i am so hot i want to be cold,
hey you birthday girl,
it is still your day,
let's go for a twirl,
and make today your day.
forget about fever and being old,
be thankful for the time you have got,
it's a story yet to be told,
celebrating birthdays with time you have.
hate it or like it, prive you have to pay,
it's a must in this world for you to stay,
stay and please don't go away,
this day is your day, Happy Birthday...

Where Am I Going?

Life is a journey they say,
I'm still stuck at Somerset Bay,
where would I go from here,
all I have is fear.
The only thing to fear is fear itself,
I must try to overcome it myself,
will I have the strength and courage?
It's in me but I kept it in a storage.
Do I know where am I going?
Do I like the thing that's showing?
Once I was standing still in time,
Chasing the fantasies in my mind.
How I love my spirit would be free,
Laughing at the questions people asked me,
Do I get what I am hoping for?
When I looked behind there's no open door.
I recalled and rememberng what I had planned,
I led many dreams slip through my hands,
Why must I wait so long before I can see,
how sad the answers to those questions can be.
Looking back with the sweetest smile,
How far I have come from a thousand miles,
A thing is worth doing it is worth doing well,
Life's definitely worth living I can tell.